Been really stressed out with housing and such

So I'm living off campus and I am doing so with ZB, AP, and our friend MT.

Long story short, MT is living in a converted den (she has it all to herself for the small price of $575 a month). The set back is that it is lacking a wall and it has a fireplace in it. Not too ideal, but it's at a discounted price rather than the original asking price for that reason.

I've done everything for this fucking house. EVERYTHING. I found it, I found a third roommate, I even found a fourth roommate, and I made rent cheaper for EVERYONE. I fucking sent in the deposit which was ($3800) for everyone. And you still expect me to do more. You guys have a problem, you expect me to fix it for you. You need to have something done, I'm supposed to do it. You need to contact the real estate agent, you expect me to contact them. I have to do everything and when I say I don't know how to do it or that I can't do it and they need to do it themselves, they dont seem too happy. They have a tone change and are colder towards me. Look, I am not your mother, and I'm not going to sort everything out for you. You fuckers need to do this shit as well.

MT is giving me the hardest time-she's being cold, rude, and mean towards me. I understand you weren't thrilled by the situation-you can gladly take my room with AP and pay a lovely $1000 a month rent check.

I realize there is a missing wall-I truly understand that. I can't do anything until I am actually living in that fucking house.

Just realize, MT, please that I have little say in all of this as well. I'm willing to work with you to the best of my abilities, BUT I cannot do everything myself and I am very limited because I don't have all the power in this situation.

Stop making me the villain.

ZB, step the fuck up, homegirl!!! Do some shit instead of just asking me to do it all. I am not your fucking mother and I just can't do it all. I realize you have a life, but do you realize I have one too? Do any of you guys realize that?

AP, the only person who's actually been helpful. Thank you for your help. I understand you can only help out to an extent, so I do truly appreciate your help with everything you did. I am still nervous to live with you. People keep putting thoughts in my head about how it may be a bad idea. And I'm just scared. Here's what I want to say to you: I'm scared of living with you because I'm afraid we'll regret it and one of us will break up with the other. I don't want that to happen. I want to make it work. I want to prove to everyone, to MK, to KA, that we'll do it with flying colors. I want to be happy with you. Why can't I live with you and be happy? Why does Western culture make it a taboo? I'll make it work. Fuck everyone's doubt. Just fuck it. I'm tired of people having little faith in me. I'm going to make it work. I am.

-GJW