Sunday, September 23, 2012
I'm tired of the way you're treating me
I can't be the root cause of all your problems, can I? Stop being so cold to me.
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Everything in life is temporary, change is constant. This too shall pass.
That's gonna be my new mantra because it's true. Life is a constant change. I always wanted to go back to the past, I glorified the past. I thought that the past, even when it was bad, was better than the present. But I'm done with that. Everything that's happening now-it may be stressful, it might suck, but the past had difficult times too. Remember, that it will pass.
That's gonna be my new mantra because it's true. Life is a constant change. I always wanted to go back to the past, I glorified the past. I thought that the past, even when it was bad, was better than the present. But I'm done with that. Everything that's happening now-it may be stressful, it might suck, but the past had difficult times too. Remember, that it will pass.
Monday, September 17, 2012
What are my flaws?
I always find flaws in other people, but I'm not exactly sure what my own flaws are. That doesn't mean I don't know I have flaws-I do. I just am not sure what they are. I think I'm pretty agreeable, I can go with the flow. I'm not too assertive. So what are my flaws?
I could ask my sister, but she sees when I'm grumpy haha. I could ask AP, but she wants to cut me right now. Mehh, just one of those days.
-GJW
I could ask my sister, but she sees when I'm grumpy haha. I could ask AP, but she wants to cut me right now. Mehh, just one of those days.
-GJW
To everyone in my life there might be a lil snippet or two about you from some song lyrics. Enjoy and try and figure it out ;)
You're wet and you're warm just like our bath water
First I made you who you are and then I made it
My swag is the coolest, my bitch is the rudest
This is like a flashback...and I could let you slip away without a second glance. Why can't I realize, I'm fighting for my life.
When I saw this girl at the hotel, and I couldn't get enough
[You] broke it off thinking [I'd] be sorry
I broke it off thinking you'd be sorry
With hearts on fire I [reached] out to you tonight
Fuck that bitch/nigga that you think you found, I know you still think of the times we had
You give me a feeling that I've never felt before
And after all that we've been through, I know we're cool
Don't want to take it for granted or abuse you
Tell me why we gotta argue bout the same thing? Nobody's perfect, uhh, but you're perfect for me
Because I always feel like running...not away because there's no such place, if there was I would have found it by now
As long as you love me ^___^
A pool full of liquor and they dive in it....
These clubs fulfill all my wishes, one big room full of bad bitches!
Tell me I'm you're national anthem. Red, white, blue's in the sky-summer's in the air and baby heaven's in your eyes
How does it sound if we spend the night out?
I simply run, I don't wanna stay
As long as I don't break these promises
You own my heart, he [was] renting
I'm hella positive forreal. But you can see it in my eyes, read it on my lips. Nothing's gonna knock this girl down!
Call me crazy, shit at least you're calling
Guess who's back in the mufuckin house!!!!
When did [my] heart go missing?
Wearing your heart like a stolen dream, opening skies with your broken keys.
Some of them are incredibly ambiguous. Have fun guessing who they're about. And no, I'm not on the rocks with AP. We're doing fine :) so please don't think the negative lyrics are about her haha.
You're wet and you're warm just like our bath water
First I made you who you are and then I made it
My swag is the coolest, my bitch is the rudest
This is like a flashback...and I could let you slip away without a second glance. Why can't I realize, I'm fighting for my life.
When I saw this girl at the hotel, and I couldn't get enough
[You] broke it off thinking [I'd] be sorry
I broke it off thinking you'd be sorry
With hearts on fire I [reached] out to you tonight
Fuck that bitch/nigga that you think you found, I know you still think of the times we had
You give me a feeling that I've never felt before
And after all that we've been through, I know we're cool
Don't want to take it for granted or abuse you
Tell me why we gotta argue bout the same thing? Nobody's perfect, uhh, but you're perfect for me
Because I always feel like running...not away because there's no such place, if there was I would have found it by now
As long as you love me ^___^
A pool full of liquor and they dive in it....
These clubs fulfill all my wishes, one big room full of bad bitches!
Tell me I'm you're national anthem. Red, white, blue's in the sky-summer's in the air and baby heaven's in your eyes
How does it sound if we spend the night out?
I simply run, I don't wanna stay
As long as I don't break these promises
You own my heart, he [was] renting
I'm hella positive forreal. But you can see it in my eyes, read it on my lips. Nothing's gonna knock this girl down!
Call me crazy, shit at least you're calling
Guess who's back in the mufuckin house!!!!
When did [my] heart go missing?
Wearing your heart like a stolen dream, opening skies with your broken keys.
Some of them are incredibly ambiguous. Have fun guessing who they're about. And no, I'm not on the rocks with AP. We're doing fine :) so please don't think the negative lyrics are about her haha.
Been really stressed out with housing and such
So I'm living off campus and I am doing so with ZB, AP, and our friend MT.
Long story short, MT is living in a converted den (she has it all to herself for the small price of $575 a month). The set back is that it is lacking a wall and it has a fireplace in it. Not too ideal, but it's at a discounted price rather than the original asking price for that reason.
I've done everything for this fucking house. EVERYTHING. I found it, I found a third roommate, I even found a fourth roommate, and I made rent cheaper for EVERYONE. I fucking sent in the deposit which was ($3800) for everyone. And you still expect me to do more. You guys have a problem, you expect me to fix it for you. You need to have something done, I'm supposed to do it. You need to contact the real estate agent, you expect me to contact them. I have to do everything and when I say I don't know how to do it or that I can't do it and they need to do it themselves, they dont seem too happy. They have a tone change and are colder towards me. Look, I am not your mother, and I'm not going to sort everything out for you. You fuckers need to do this shit as well.
MT is giving me the hardest time-she's being cold, rude, and mean towards me. I understand you weren't thrilled by the situation-you can gladly take my room with AP and pay a lovely $1000 a month rent check.
I realize there is a missing wall-I truly understand that. I can't do anything until I am actually living in that fucking house.
Just realize, MT, please that I have little say in all of this as well. I'm willing to work with you to the best of my abilities, BUT I cannot do everything myself and I am very limited because I don't have all the power in this situation.
Stop making me the villain.
ZB, step the fuck up, homegirl!!! Do some shit instead of just asking me to do it all. I am not your fucking mother and I just can't do it all. I realize you have a life, but do you realize I have one too? Do any of you guys realize that?
AP, the only person who's actually been helpful. Thank you for your help. I understand you can only help out to an extent, so I do truly appreciate your help with everything you did. I am still nervous to live with you. People keep putting thoughts in my head about how it may be a bad idea. And I'm just scared. Here's what I want to say to you: I'm scared of living with you because I'm afraid we'll regret it and one of us will break up with the other. I don't want that to happen. I want to make it work. I want to prove to everyone, to MK, to KA, that we'll do it with flying colors. I want to be happy with you. Why can't I live with you and be happy? Why does Western culture make it a taboo? I'll make it work. Fuck everyone's doubt. Just fuck it. I'm tired of people having little faith in me. I'm going to make it work. I am.
-GJW
Long story short, MT is living in a converted den (she has it all to herself for the small price of $575 a month). The set back is that it is lacking a wall and it has a fireplace in it. Not too ideal, but it's at a discounted price rather than the original asking price for that reason.
I've done everything for this fucking house. EVERYTHING. I found it, I found a third roommate, I even found a fourth roommate, and I made rent cheaper for EVERYONE. I fucking sent in the deposit which was ($3800) for everyone. And you still expect me to do more. You guys have a problem, you expect me to fix it for you. You need to have something done, I'm supposed to do it. You need to contact the real estate agent, you expect me to contact them. I have to do everything and when I say I don't know how to do it or that I can't do it and they need to do it themselves, they dont seem too happy. They have a tone change and are colder towards me. Look, I am not your mother, and I'm not going to sort everything out for you. You fuckers need to do this shit as well.
MT is giving me the hardest time-she's being cold, rude, and mean towards me. I understand you weren't thrilled by the situation-you can gladly take my room with AP and pay a lovely $1000 a month rent check.
I realize there is a missing wall-I truly understand that. I can't do anything until I am actually living in that fucking house.
Just realize, MT, please that I have little say in all of this as well. I'm willing to work with you to the best of my abilities, BUT I cannot do everything myself and I am very limited because I don't have all the power in this situation.
Stop making me the villain.
ZB, step the fuck up, homegirl!!! Do some shit instead of just asking me to do it all. I am not your fucking mother and I just can't do it all. I realize you have a life, but do you realize I have one too? Do any of you guys realize that?
AP, the only person who's actually been helpful. Thank you for your help. I understand you can only help out to an extent, so I do truly appreciate your help with everything you did. I am still nervous to live with you. People keep putting thoughts in my head about how it may be a bad idea. And I'm just scared. Here's what I want to say to you: I'm scared of living with you because I'm afraid we'll regret it and one of us will break up with the other. I don't want that to happen. I want to make it work. I want to prove to everyone, to MK, to KA, that we'll do it with flying colors. I want to be happy with you. Why can't I live with you and be happy? Why does Western culture make it a taboo? I'll make it work. Fuck everyone's doubt. Just fuck it. I'm tired of people having little faith in me. I'm going to make it work. I am.
-GJW
Sunday, September 16, 2012
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Why 2012 sucked for me and the positives
- My grandma died
- I got a uti which turned into a yeast infection
- I started getting recurring yeast infections
- I cheated on my boyfriend
- I questioned my sexuality
- Bumps in my relationship
Good parts
- I got to DJ
- I did well in my last quarter of freshman year
- I met some great people
- AP
- I saw Drake live
- No Doubt is finally coming out with a new album
Why me? Why me???
We all go "why me" but the question you should ask as well is "why NOT me." It hurts to hear that, but it's true. Why can't I be susceptible to it?
What we forget when we're so caught up in our "why me" is that everyone has a story. No one's life is perfect. We are all dealing with something, going through something.
Why was this placed in my path? When something hard is placed in my path I usually tell myself "because God knew I could handle it." What if I don't want to handle this. What if this is too much for me to bare. Recurring yeast infections-->precursor to diabetes or aids-->could be a misdiagnosis-->that could mean I have herpes-->or another STD. My mind is thinking the worst, but I couldn't live with that. A compromised life...I'd rather die.
What we forget when we're so caught up in our "why me" is that everyone has a story. No one's life is perfect. We are all dealing with something, going through something.
Why was this placed in my path? When something hard is placed in my path I usually tell myself "because God knew I could handle it." What if I don't want to handle this. What if this is too much for me to bare. Recurring yeast infections-->precursor to diabetes or aids-->could be a misdiagnosis-->that could mean I have herpes-->or another STD. My mind is thinking the worst, but I couldn't live with that. A compromised life...I'd rather die.
Sunday, September 9, 2012
Sometimes I get
tired too. It's exhausting managing so much. I'm so tired of it all. I'm just so tired. Sometimes I feel like if I died tomorrow, I wouldn't mind. I wouldn't be unhappy, scared, anything.
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Ugh -_________-
I have work on Thursday. Just when I thought they were not gonna schedule me they schedule me. Ugh, then I'm leaving 2 weeks for college from that day so I have to give me 2 weeks on Thursday. And they have to give me a paycheck which my lazy ass will have to pick up when I come back from college, ugh.
Eww, listen to me complain about getting work and a paycheck. Millions of Americans can't even find a job. I simply walked in and got a job. I should be thankful. I'm going to receive a $100+ paycheck this Thursday, and more money on top of that. That money will be going all to my savings account.
-GJW
Eww, listen to me complain about getting work and a paycheck. Millions of Americans can't even find a job. I simply walked in and got a job. I should be thankful. I'm going to receive a $100+ paycheck this Thursday, and more money on top of that. That money will be going all to my savings account.
-GJW
Sunday, September 2, 2012
My tummy gets butterflies
When I share really sick music I find with people :) I dunno why, but I just do. And when they respond with the same intellectuality of me (no cocky), I just thrive off of that.
Saturday, September 1, 2012
Her sisters think she's a lesbian
She's getting more and more worried because her sisters are on her case about whether she's a lesbian or not. She said she'd call me because there's so much to say. I'm worried she's gonna say she's done with me because she can't afford to have her family think she's a lesbian. I was thinking about it in the car, if she says she wants to break up with me I'm feeling more and more indifferent. Yeah it'll suck, but the last time she called things off and we got back together, I only went in 80%. Before I was in 100%. I learned my lesson. I'm not in it as much, so I won't get hurt as much.
Ball's in her court, when isn't it in her court? We'll see what she says when (if) she responds to me. I'm hoping she doesn't wanna end things, but I'm expecting her to call it quits.
Ehhh, shitty day overall-stomach hurts.
-GJW
Ball's in her court, when isn't it in her court? We'll see what she says when (if) she responds to me. I'm hoping she doesn't wanna end things, but I'm expecting her to call it quits.
Ehhh, shitty day overall-stomach hurts.
-GJW
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