1. Hate Sleeping Alone-Drake
2. I Know-Jay-Z
"And she gives me all her and I'm abusing it right now" (1-the number indicates which song I reference). In this case J is giving me all his trust and I'm abusing it right now.
"I say I'd rather be w/ you but you are not around, So I'mma call somebody up and see if they be down, Cause I hate sleeping alone, I hate sleeping alone, Half the time we don't end up f*cking, I don't ask her for nothing..." (1). I'd rather be with J but since he's so far away, I spend my time with AP and see if she's down because quite honestly, I hate sleeping alone. We never end up f*cking, but now that's starting to change.
"She likes me, She fiends for me nightly, This is about lust, Cold sweats occur when I'm not with her" (2). In this case, "she" is me. I fiend for AP nightly-hence I always end up in her bed. This is partly about lust, but honestly when we're not together it's difficult on the both of us.
"I am your prescription...I'm your addiction" (2). As I mentioned previously, AP is my addiction. I try to stop but I always end up coming back. She is my "medicine and healer...but also my addiction"
"9.5 weeks is better than 12 steps" (2). 9.5 weeks with AP is better than trying to recover but I know recovering is more important. It's what I need, not what I want, but I'm listening to what I want.
"Now your conscience is interfering, like 'Better yourself!' Like you better get help, But when that medicine's felt, We back together, Don't ever leave me" (2). My mind keeps telling me to stop, that I need help, that I shouldn't do this, that this is all wrong. But when I feel the medicine (AP), I stop all those thoughts and focus on her and me. I ignore my conscience and do what I please.
If you haven't heard either song, go out and listen to them. Those songs, mainly the second, describe my life perfectly.
Dark thoughts clouding my mind.
-GJW
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